Big Time Super Villains
by BTRHortenseWINS
Summary: Sure, being Big Time Superheroes was fun and all, but what if they were Super Villains instead? When the boys play a game of who can be the most evil, the entire Palm Woods is in for a crazy ride.
1. The Evil Prologue

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James all sat around the breakfast table within Apartment 2J. Although it was still early in the morning, they had finished their meals ages ago. Today was their first day off from work in weeks, and they wanted to make the best of it, however they just couldn't decide on what to do with their free time.

On free days, Kendall and Logan normally would hang out with their girlfriends, Jo and Camille. The problem was that it was 8 AM in the morning; way too early for any teenager to be awake on a weekend. The boys didn't like being awake this early either, however they were so used to waking up at 7 o'clock in the morning for work that they actually couldn't make themselves sleep any later.

As a result, the four band members were the only ones awake in their apartment, and probably will be the only awake teenagers of all the Palm Woods for a short while. They decided to spend most of their free day together—Of course, they'd have to agree on what they should do first.

"I say we go to the pool." James said, "We'd beat the morning crowd and get the_ best_ pool toys!"

"James, the pool toys are locked in the shed until the lifeguard's on duty. And that won't be for another four hours…and besides, Carlos is banned from the pool for the next week." Logan added, glancing at the shorter boy sitting next to him.

Carlos shrugged, "How was I supposed to know that alligator's weren't allowed in the pool?"

"…Right. So pool's out. And we can't watch TV because mom and Katie are still asleep." Kendall said, "Maybe we could go to the mall. The mall's open, right?"

"Yeah, but Carlos is banned for a week, remember?" Logan replied, looking at the shorter boy once more. Carlos merely shrugged yet again, "How was I supposed to know that alligator's weren't allowed in the mall?"

Logan rolled his eyes, but didn't bother trying to question his friend's logic. "We could do our homework. It's due Monday, and I know for sure that none of us have even star—"

"No." Came the collected answer of the other three boys whom were seated around the table, and that suggestion was immediately dropped.

The boys continued to offer ideas on what they should do, but each suggestion was shot down for one reason or another. Should they go surfing at the beach? No, it was too far away. Should they go to the movies? Nah, they've seen _The Unicorn Princess II_ already. Should they play sports in the Palm Woods? No, none of them felt like it. 8 A.M was slowly turning into 9 A.M, and no one could agree on an activity to do.

"This is hopeless." James said, "There's nothing for us to do this early in the morning. We should still be in bed, getting our beauty sleep. Especially you, Kendall."

"Wh—_hey_!" Kendall exclaimed, "Rude." He glared at the boy next to him for a moment before continuing, "Look, we live in L.A. There has to be something for us to do here, no matter how early it is. We're not in small-town Minnesota anymore, where nothing is open before noon. We live in Los Angeles, guys. It's the city that never sleeps! There has to be something fun in this city for early-birds to do."

Logan nodded, "Good speech, except for when you said that we lived in 'the city that never sleeps'. You're thinking of Las Vegas."

"No, I'm pretty sure he was thinking of New York." James commented, with Carlos speaking up right after. "New York? I was thinking Manhattan."

"Manhattan is in New York, Carlos."

"Guys." Kendall said, trying to bring the conversation back to its original topic, "That's not the point I was trying to make—"

James cut him off, "Whatever point you were trying to make, it wasn't good. 'Small-town Minnesota'? Dude, we lived in Minneapolis! The biggest city in Minnesota!" He scoffed, crossing his arms and leaning his back into the chair.

Logan spoke up, "Yeah, James is right. I retract my statement about Kendall's speech being 'good'. It's too riddled with errors."

The blond sighed, looking at Carlos when the helmet-clad boy started to speak. "Does anyone else think Kendall's speeches haven't been that good lately?"

James and Logan murmured in agreement to Carlos's statement while Kendall rolled his eyes. "Speech-making is hard work, you know. You can't expect every speech I make to be a winner."

Excitement suddenly lit James's eyes, "A _winner_!" he repeated, "Remember the last time we had a prank war? No one won, it was just a tie. We could have another competition, and this time, we'll crown an actual winner instead of ending on a stupid tie."

Although Kendall was thankful for the sudden topic change, he had some reservations with James's idea. "A competition does seem interesting…but Katie would kill me if we did another prank war and didn't include her, or the other girls…and you know that they won't be up until later." Kendall replied, shuddering at the thought of what might happen to him if he did another prank war without including his sister. Katie may be young, but she sure is devious when she wants to be.

James obviously didn't think the same way as Kendall, rebutting his concerns. "Oh, come on. You can't have a bunch of girls who aren't even awake yet stand in the way of Big Time Pranks, part 2!"

"Big Time Pranks? Is that really what you're calling it?" Logan questioned, "Puns based on our band name is kind of lame."

"It's not lame!" James argued, "Remember that time when we adopted all those dogs? I call that event 'Big Time Rescue'."

" 'Big Time Rescue' _is_ a pretty cool name." Carlos said.

"No, it's not! If we were in a 'Worst Names Ever' competition, 'Big Time Rescue' and 'Big Time Pranks' would tie."

"No, they wouldn't. It'd have a winner, and that winner would be you, _Hortense_ Mitchell."

"Hey! We swore to never speak of my true name again."

"Hortense, Hortense, Hortense, Hor—"

"Guys, calm down." Kendall said, raising his voice over James's taunting chatter, "Stop acting like you're in some sort of 'Big Time Act Rude' competition."

James glared at the blond. "That's not how the naming system works." He huffed, "The correct name would either be 'Big Time Rude', or 'Rude Time Rush'."

"Does it really matter, James?"

"Uh, yeah, it does, Kendall. If we're having a competition on who's the meanest, we're giving it the correct name."

"But we're not having a meanness compe—"

Logan cut Kendall off. "James, being 'rude' and being 'mean' aren't the same thing. Gustavo is rude, but Hawk is mean. We need to clarify what we're doing before the competition begins."

"Logan, you seriously aren't—"

"We should make it an evil competition, where we do evil things. Like that time when Hawk stole our second album and we had to be superheroes? Only we're the super villains!" Carlos exclaimed, with James and Logan nodding in agreement.

"A Big Time Super Villain sequel to an event I call 'Big Time Superheroes'? I like the sound of that." James said, high-fiving his friend across the table. "But...if we're all super villains, then don't we need a super hero to try and stop us?"

Kendall tried speaking up again, "Guys, I really don't think this is a g—"

"We could all be super heroes!" Logan said, quickly thinking it over. "One of us will be the villain, and the rest of us will try to stop him! If the villain is stopped, he'll choose one of us to be the next bad guy. At the end of the day, when Mrs. Knight calls us for dinner, we'll vote on who was the best villain of us all."

The blond sighed; this really wasn't a good idea. When they tried being superheroes all those months ago, they ended up in jail. And that was when they attempted to be good, so who knows what would happen to them if they actually tried being bad?

"This isn't a good idea. What 'evil' things are we supposed to do?" Kendall said, "Kidnap people? Steal money? These are all crimes, you know."

"Well, we won't actually do anything to break the law." James said.

Logan agreed, "Right. If any of the Palm Woods residents get caught up in what we're doing, we have to tell them about our competition. They could even join if they wanted!"

"I want to play, but…what if it's dinnertime and not all of us got to be villains?" Carlos asked, "That wouldn't be fair."

"Well, then that's just tough luck." James explained, "If you want to have a chance to be a villain, then you have to stop the current one as soon as possible."

"Yep, and no one's going to stop me; I'm going to win."

"Oh, you won't win, my little Hortense." James said, eliciting a glare from his friend, "I will win. And I shall be crowned the superior villain."

Kendall watched as his friends continued to bicker, flinging petty insults at each other about who the 'best villain' was. He still didn't really think this was a good idea, but…it did seem like it could be sort of fun, especially if he got some of his Palm Woods friends to back him up when it was his turn to be villain.

Alright, he'll play. And he'll win, as well. All they needed to do next was to choose who got to go first.

* * *

**Who gets to be the first evil super villain? You decide! Leave a review saying who you want to go first-Kendall, James, Carlos, or Logan.**

**Eventually some of the other Palm Woods residents might get to join in on the fun as well, but not yet!(They're still getting their beauty sleep, after all!)**

**After a predetermined amount of time, I'll tally up the votes to figure out who the first super villain will be! Stay tuned!**

_**Edit: Voting is closed for chapter one! The winner is James!**_


	2. Crimes Against Fashion

After many rounds of Rock-Paper-Scissors, Tic-Tac-Toe, and an incident involving Logan finding a baby alligator in the pantry, it was decided that James was to go first as the 'evil villain'.

The remaining boys had left the apartment to give James some time to formulate whatever evil plan he had in store for them all. They went downstairs and into the lobby, and decided to wait there until James was ready.

"What do you think he's gonna do?" Kendall asked, curiously looking in the direction of the elevators. It's been a half hour, and there were no signs of any super villain plot going down as of yet.

Logan shrugged, "Beats me. I have no idea of what's going through the minds of James _or_ Carlos half the time." He said as they both glanced at Carlos, who was now dressed in hi_s El Hombre Del Flaming Space Rock Man_ super hero outfit, complete with a matching red helmet.

"Hey, if we're going to be super heroes to James's super villain, we need to dress the part!" Carlos said, taking a moment to pose in the middle of the Palm Woods lobby.

Suddenly, they heard a scream. "It's him! It's _El Hombre_!"

Girls poured into the lobby. The near-empty space was filled to the brim with teenagers in a matter of seconds, all wishing to meet_ El Hombre Del Flaming Space Rock Man_. Kendall and Logan looked on, confused at the sight.

"What can I say?" Carlos shouted over his squealing fangirls, "_El Hombre_ is a pretty popular hero around here!"

Kendall and Logan looked at each other, almost speechless. "Do you have any idea how that's even possible?" Logan asked. Kendall shook his head, "No! Carlos only wore those clothes, like, twice!"

Any further discussion was soon cut short due to a nasty scream coming from the upstairs apartments.

As if on cue, everyone in the lobby fell silent as they looked towards the elevator in awe. After only a few moments, the elevator doors opened, revealing...the Jennifers?

No one could believe their eyes.

The normally well-dressed fashionista's of the Palm Woods looked downright_ hideous _in their attire.

As the girls walked out of the elevator, worry and panic filled the faces of the usually-confident trio.

On the left was the brunette Jennifer. She was wearing large, gray sweatpants, and an over-sized white shirt. She shielded her eyes from the large crowd in the lobby, trying to ignore their wide-eyed stares and slacked jaws.

On the right was the curly-haired Jennifer. Her normally cute dressy attire was instead a worn-out piece of clothing that made it look like she should've been on a farm instead of in Hollywood. It was an old-style farm dress, and all she needed to complete that 'rustic' look was a bonnet. Instead of a bonnet however, she wore sunglasses, seemingly wanting to cover her eyes from the shame that came with not wearing a designer outfit for once in her life.

In the middle was the blonde Jennifer. She attempted to look as confident and judgmental as ever, but that was hard, considering the fact her dress looked like it came from the recycling bin. It was an unflattering gray thing made out of fabric so thin and cheap that not even the least fashionable person in the universe wear it.

The three girls paraded past the crowd, walking straight towards Kendall and Logan, whom were standing near the couches.

"What is the meaning of this?" The blonde Jennifer said, motioning to her ugly dress. Kendall raised an eyebrow, "What makes you think we had anything to do with you, uh, sudden lack of fashion?" He said, somewhat amused.

The blonde Jennifer rolled her eyes. "First of all," She said, "Every time something bad happens around here, it always ends up being the fault of one of _you_ dumb boys."

"That's actually pretty accurate." Logan commented, shrugging.

"Second of all," The brunette Jennifer started, not acknowledging the fact that Logan had said something, "Since Carlos over there is dressed in his lame-o 'super hero' costume again, for the fiftieth time, so we all know something's up."

Kendall and Logan were shocked by that statement. They didn't actually remember Carlos ever wearing that costume ever again after they recovered second album.

"And third of all," The curly-haired Jennifer finished, "At the bottom of our dressers, we found these."

At once, the three girls fished out something that looked similar to business cards. On closer inspection, Kendall and Logan saw that the little black cards only had one sentence written on it, in flashy gold letters: ANTI-FASHION MAN STRIKES AGAIN!

It didn't take long for Kendall or Logan to figure out who 'Anti-Fashion Man' was. While Logan was confused on how James was able to print business cards and sabotage wardrobes so quickly, Kendall started laughing; the fact that James thought that being un-fashionable was evil seemed hilarious to him.

The Jennifer's didn't seem to agree, though. They put those cards away, and looked at him in anger.

"Do you think this is a joke?" The brunette said, staring daggers at the laughing Knight. "Do you think that it's funny that we're dressed so...so _cheaply_?" She said, motioning to her plain white shirt and baggy pants.

"Do you think it's funny that we're dressed so _retro_?" The curly-haried Jennifer said in disgust, obviously referring to her olden-style farm outfit.

"Do you think it's funny that we're dressed so..._UGLY_?" The blonde Jennifer spat the last word out like a thorn.

"You three may be dressed badly, but I think you're just overreacting." Kendall said, smirking.

Logan agreed, "Yeah, bad clothing isn't something worth screaming over."

The brunette Jennifer looked at Logan incredulously. "We weren't the ones who screamed."

"Uh...yeah, you were?" Logan asked, confused. "We all heard a scream."

The brunette Jennifer glared at the boy. "Yeah. You heard _a _scream. Not three screams."

"The person who screamed was Camille, not us." The curly-haired Jennifer offered, causing Logan to look concerned.

"Camille? She screamed?" He croaked, his voice raising a pitch.

The blonde Jennifer nodded, "Yeah, we passed her apartment on the way down here. She was definitely the one who-hey, wait, where are you going!?" She called after Logan, who was running out the lobby and into an opened elevator.

Kendall didn't want to be left alone with three angry Jennifers, so he ran towards the opened elevator as well. "_Hombre_!" He called over his shoulder, "Let's go!"

Carlos, or _El Hombre Del Flaming Space Rock Man_, was enjoying an impromptu photo shoot/autograph session with his super hero fanbase, but _El Hombre _never turned down a friend's cry for help.

"Coming, super-friends!" He said, pushing his way through the crowd of screaming girls, and exiting the lobby as well, leaving the trio of poorly-dressed Jennifer's on their own.

* * *

Not bothering to wait for his friends to catch up with him, Logan ran down the hallway that led to Camille's apartment, anxiously knocking on its door once he arrived.

The door opened, revealing an older man instead of Logan's girlfriend. The man spoke, "Yeahhh, my daughter is currently crying in the middle of the floor. Did you guys break up again? You know, for the 10th time?"

"What? No!" Logan said, "We haven't broken up since last year!"

"It's only February." The man commented.

"Yeah! Last year! Look, Mr. Camille's dad, can I talk to her?"

"I have a name!" The man said, but then sighed. "Fine, you can talk to her. Just don't-you know, break up with each other. Again. We're all getting tired of that."

When Camille's dad closed the door, Kendall and Carlos finally arrived, standing behind the raven-haired boy. Kendall looked over at Carlos, surprised when he saw that his costumed friend was holding five corndogs in his hands.

"Where'd you get those?" Kendall asked.

"A superhero never reveals his secrets!" Carlos replied, finishing a corndog and throwing its stick to the ground. He began eating another.

"All we did was ride an elevator! I was with you the whole time! There's no way you could've-"

"SHHH! Guys, I'm trying to listen!" Logan shouted, motioning for Kendall to be quiet. He had his left ear pressed to the door, trying to hear what was going on inside.

"Okay...Camille's dad is talking...I hear Camille, she's shouting something, and some footsteps, and...oh!" Logan quickly backed away from the door as it opened, revealing the young, brunette girl.

"Logan!" She screamed, jumping on the boy. Kendall and Carlos took a few steps backwards in order to avoid being hit as Camille's tackle made Logan fall, landing on his back with a _thud_.

Logan was used to being tackled, but he wasn't used to Camille's death-grip, which was slowly suffocating the poor boy.

"Can't...breathe..." He stammered, but Camille didn't let go. Kendall quickly tried prying the girl off his friend, but she wouldn't budge.

"Carlos? A little help?" Kendall said, but the other boy refused to listen, and was busy enjoying one of his remaining corndogs. "Carlos! Logan may be dying!" He said, motioning to the boy on the floor that was turning blue in the face.

The young super hero shrugged, chewing on his food."That's not my name~~" He sang, causing Kendall to groan.

"_El Hombre Del..._rock...guy," The blond said, "Help me get Camille off of Logan before she kills him!"

Carlos then suddenly appeared at Kendall's side, smiling broadly. "_El Hombre Del Flaming Space Rock Man _is always happy to help a friend in need!" He shouted to no one in particular. The boy then took his last corndog and gave it to Kendall, who hesitantly accepted it.

The blond then shrugged, biting into the corndog as he watched Carlos pry Camille off of Logan, helping her to her feet. Logan then stood up, gasping for air. "Don't...do that...again..." He told Camille, who sheepishly grinned in response as Carlos put his hands on his hips, putting on his best commander voice.

"What seems to be the problem, young citizen?"

The three boys all looked at the sole girl, who gasped. "Well, isn't it obvious!?" She exclaimed, "Just _LOOK AT_ ME! I look HORRIBLE!"

She started sobbing. "Black pants. Black shirt. Black leather jacket!" She cried, throwing her arms around Logan once more, however this time she didn't attempt to suffocate him.

Kendall took another bite into his corndog, chewing thoughtfully. "You kinda look like Lucy in that."

"I _know_! And that's the problem! I can't be dressed like Lucy! Then who will Lucy dress like? She can't dress like me, she hates anything that isn't pure black!"

"I'm sure Lucy will be just fine in whatever she's wearing." Logan said, patting his girlfriend on the back, "Besides, she doesn't even live here anymore."

Camille let go of her hug before immediately slapping Logan right on the cheek.

"Ow!" He said. "What was that for!?"

"Sometimes, you just need to slap things in order to feel better." She shrugged.

"No, you don't!" Logan exclaimed, "Look, we're just playing a game right now on who can be the most evil. James probably switched your clothes because he thought making you look all Lucy-like was pure evil, or something."

"Wait, Lucy was evil!?" Carlos gasped in shock, "I _knew_ there was something strange about her! I mean seriously, who walks around wearing black all the time? Evil people, that's who."

Kendall gave his friend a pointed look. "Seriously, dude? She wasn't evil."

"She must've been! That's why you chose Jo, right?"

"Uh, guys..." Logan said, sounding nervous.

Kendall didn't hear him speak. "Carlos, I chose Jo because that was what my heart told me to do."

"Guys!" Logan called again, but was ignored.

"Yeah, you chose Jo because your heart told you Lucy was evil! Evil people do not wear black all the time!"

"HOW COULD YOU TWO NOT NOTICE CAMILLE TYING YOU TO SOME CHAIRS?" Logan yelled, pointing at his two friends' unusual predicament.

Carlos and Kendall both had rope around their arms, legs, and torsos, strapping them down into two wooden chairs. The two boys looked around, shocked at the fact that they had somehow not realized that someone was tying them down with rope during their conversation.

"Camille!" Kendall said, trying to break free, but failed miserably against the tight ropes. "Why did you do this?" He said, "And where did these chairs and rope come from?" He added, bewildered.

"Yeah, and why isn't Logan tied down as well?" Carlos asked.

The brunette gasped. "I could never betray my boyfriend!"

"Well, what about your _friends_?" Logan said, motioning to Kendall and Carlos. "Why would you betray them? You're not even playing the game!"

"Uh, yeah I am!" Camille said, explaining. "When James broke into my room to switch my clothes, I caught him in the act. Then he told me about this game, and I decided that I really wanted to play, so we devised a plan on how to catch you three!"

So, all of that crying and screaming...?" Kendall questioned, "You were just acting?"

Camille nodded, "Yeah, I'm a great actress."

"I told you people who wore black were _evil_." Carlos mumbled, but then spoke louder, "Camille! You shall not get away with this! Mere rope cannot hold _El Hombre Del Flaming Space Rock Man_!" He started squirming against his seat, trying to wiggle out of the impossibly-tight rope._  
_

Logan then thought about what his girlfriend had said. "Wait a minute. You said you and James planned on catching all of us...you didn't catch me, though."

"Yes...because_ I'll_ be the one catching you." An unmistakable voice said, stepping out of Camille's apartment door.

It was James. He was dressed in a costume that looked just like Bandanna Man's, but instead of wearing purple bandanna's, he wore black.

"Kendall...James is wearing the color of evil!" Carlos whispered, but Kendall ignored him. "James! Look, okay, you've won. Just let us go!"

"James? I do not know this 'James' you speak of." The other boy said, posing with his hands on his hips as his cape flew behind him in an invisible wind. "I'm..._Anti-Fashion Man_." He offered, then pointed a finger at Logan. "YOU!" He said, "You're next!"

"AHHH!" Logan screamed, terrified. He turned around and ran straight down the hall.

James cracked his knuckles. "_Anti-Fashion Man _does loves a good challenge." He said, to no one in particular. James then broke into a sprint, following Logan down the hallway.

* * *

"AHHHHHH!" Logan continued to scream, pushing the other Palm Woods residents out of the way as he continued to run. Part of him wondered why he was acting like this, after all it was just a game.

But another part of him didn't want to lose, not in the first round, at least.

Logan ran to the end of the hallway, opening a door that revealed the stair case. He knew he didn't have much time before James caught up to him; the bandanna-wearing boy was the fastest band member of them all. With no time to lose, he started running down the steps. He didn't dare look behind him, but he could hear another pair of feet join him on his decent down the apartment complex.

Gasping for breath, Logan got off the stair case at the second floor, running into the hallway. He heard a shout from behind, "Ha! _Anti-Fashion Man_ knows where you're heading, and nothing in there can save you!"

The raven-haired boy ran straight to Apartment 2J and opened the door, thankful for the fact that no one ever locked it during the day. He ran past the kitchen, giving a quick "Hello!" to Mrs. Knight and Katie, whom were both eating a late breakfast. They stared at him, watching the boy run into the bedrooms at lightning speed.

The girls were confused at first, but then their confusion doubled when James ran into the apartment as well while wearing a black-bandanna version of his usual super hero costume. "_Anti-Fashion Man_ would normally attack any unsuspecting citizen he sees by putting them in terrible clothing." He said, looking at the girls. But then he sighed, "However, it looks like _Anti-Fashion Man_'s help is unneeded with you two ladies. I'll be off, then."

James took off after Logan once more, running into the bedrooms. From the breakfast table, Mrs. Knight calmly sipped her tea. "Katie, after you're done eating, I want you to figure out whatever game they're playing and ruin the fun for them."

"Sure, mom."

* * *

James walked down the short hallway, kicking the first door open. It led into Logan and Kendall's shared room, however it was clear that no one was inside. "You might as well give up now!" He yelled as he kicked open the next bedroom's door, which was Katie's. No one was inside. "Surrender to _Anti-Fashion Man_, and he might just go easy on you!"

"I'll never surrender!" Logan called from the room next over. His voice came from James and Carlos's bedroom.

The dark bandanna man quickly made his way into the bedroom, looking around. Two beds sat on one side of the small area, and on the other side there were three wardrobes and two dressers. Carlos got only the closet for his clothing, whereas James got to keep his abundance of clothes in the wardrobes and dressers. Logan had the closet door opened, grabbing Carlos's clothing and mixing it into James's. James's normally pressed and ironed pants were thrown haphazardly on the floor, and his in-season shirts were touching Carlos's never-in-season jackets.

"What are you _doing_!?" James yelled, picking his clothes off from the floor as fast as he could. "You can just throw stream-pressed shirts and ironed pants on the floor! Now I'm going to have to wash them again!"

Logan didn't listen, instead focusing his attention to one of the dresser's, taking out some of the neatly folded clothing and replacing it with some of Carlos's shirts. "I'm just doing a little re-decorating!" He said, stuffing the drawer full with foreign clothes.

"No, no, no, stop!" James said, dropping the clothing he was holding on his bed before running to Logan's side. He pushed the other boy away, and looked at the awful sight before him. "Carlos's clothes can't touch mine!" He said, throwing a purple striped jacket back into the closet. He rummaged in his drawer for more garments to take out. "Carlos has bad fashion. So if his shirts touch my shirts, _I _might become unfashionable as well-LOGAN, STOP!" He yelled.

The boy in question had taken out James's suits and ties from a wardrobe, and replaced them with Carlos's less-than-stellar attire. "I won't stop." Logan said, throwing yet another one of James's expensive jackets onto the floor. "Not until you surrender first!"

"_Anti-Fashion Man_ won't surrender!" James gritted his teeth, standing up. "I'm still stronger than you!"

The brunette took a step forward, but immediately stopped when Logan whipped out a permanent marker.

"Take one step closer, and this shirt gets it!" Logan said, bringing the marker closer to a shirt that still hung in the wardrobe. "Hmm, looks like this one's made out of silk...it'd be sad if someone were to draw all over it."

James gasped. "You can't do that; stains don't wash out of silk!"

Logan brought the marker closer to the fabric. The very tip of the Sharpie was only a few inches away from a sleeve.

"Nooo, stop!" James said, falling onto his knees in anguish. The marker moved closer to the shirt. "_Please_-!?" James reached out to Logan, who merely moved the marker head even closer. It was a mere centimeters away from touching the fabric.

"Okay, _fine_! I give up!" James said, ripping off his bandanna cape. "I don't like this game anymore."

"YES!" Logan exclaimed happily. He put the cap back onto the marker and threw it off to the side. "I've won round 1!"

"Hey, wait a second. You didn't win anything." James said, standing back up. He was somehow not in his black bandanna man costume anymore, instead he was dressed in what he had on before the game started. "The winner is whoever made the best evil plan, not whoever stops it. And I get to choose who the next evil person's gonna be."

James put his hand to his chin, thinking. "The next evil person will be..."

* * *

**Xx**

**Bleep Blop Bloop, on to round 2!**

**This time, you can choose from_ Kendall_,_ Logan_, _Carlos_, or _Camille_! Leave your choice of who you want to be the next evil person in the review section!**

**I wrote the ending of this while watching Big Time Marvin. I felt real bad for the alien boys. Marvin killed them with helium. How rude. **

**I love Lucy. Too bad she isn't in this story. It takes place after season three ends. How sad.**

_**Edit: Voting closed! Winner is Carlos!**_


	3. Lunch of Pain

"Seriously? You chose Carlos?" Logan ranted as James and Camille worked on untying the other two boys from their chairs. The spiky-haired kid was enraged. Fuming, even. James picking Carlos to be the next big baddie was seen as scandalous to Logan, especially since it was him who had beaten James in the last round, not Carlos.

"Carlos didn't even do anything last round. I almost _died_."

"No, you didn't!" Camille said, successfully untying the rope on Kendall's chair. The blond boy stood up in relief and stretched. The girl continued, "All I did was hug you, you're the one who went all 'out of breath' on us."

"That wasn't a hug, that was a tackle." Logan said, crossing his arms. "No, that wasn't even a tackle, that was some sort of death hold."

Kendall spoke up, "Logan, she hugs you like that all the time, shouldn't you be used to it by now?"

"That wasn't a hug!" Logan insisted, but then changed the subject, looking at James who was having trouble with untying the rope on Carlos's chair. "Dude, why did you choose him over me? With my smarts in the sciences, maths, and with my great study of cheap romance horror thriller novels, I have what it takes to become the best evil person ever!"

"Well, obviously James knew about your evilness potential, so he choose the person who was least likely to think of something that bad. Right, James?" Kendall asked.

James stood up, facing his standing friends. "Nah, I just chose him because it'd make Logan mad. But!" James said, cutting Logan off before he could start ranting again, "Trust me, you were in my top five of choices."

"There aren't five of us." Logan said.

"Exactly. Now, can someone help me untie Carlos so we can get this game going? My hands are too delicate to work these ropes." James sighed, looking at his soft and smooth palms. "It's one of the many things I suffer from by being this beautiful."

"I don't need help! I can get out of this by myself!" Said Carlos. The fact that he was tied down to a chair caused many passerbys to give the teens odd looks, but they didn't pay attention to any of that.

"You can't untie those ropes on your own. Those are top-grade knots right there. Made by a real ex-Girl Scout!" Camille exclaimed.

"I didn't know you were in the Girl Scouts." Logan commented.

"I wasn't. But I played a Girl Scout in _Ex-Girl Scouts: Revenge is sweet_." She said, "It bombed in the box office. Apparently it was 'offensive' or something. But still, Carlos, you can't possibly untie those ropes yourself."

"You're right, _Carlos _can't." The tied-up boy said as he begun to hop in his chair towards the stairs. "But I'm not Carlos, I'm _El Hombre Del Flaming Space Rock man_!"

The boy continued hopping. Him and his chair inched closer and closer to the fourth-floor staircase with each leap. "...Shouldn't we stop him?" Logan stated.

Kendall answered, "Nah, he'll be fine; this isn't the first time he jumped down some stairs while tied to a chair." "

"Hey, let's go to the pool!" James said, glancing at his watch. "It's 11:00;_ perfect_ time for babe-watching. Oh, and Carlos is banned there, so can't possibly do anything to us." He quickly added, though secretly he just wanted to be around some girls in bikini's.

When everyone agreed, they started walking toward the elevator and ignored the crashing sound from the stairwell. James, Kendall, and Logan led the way while Camille was in the rear. Before she got onto the elevator however, a small hand reached out of a corner and pulled her away from the group. The boys didn't even realize she was missing until they had stepped into the lobby.

"...Where'd Camille go?" Logan asked, looking around the small room. It's only mildly full with teens, but Camille was no where in sight.

James shrugged, "Maybe she decided she didn't want to go to the pool."

"But she loves the pool."

"Yes, well, this isn't about her. It's about me, and I want to go to the pool! Let's go!" James said, marching off.

"You'll see her later." Kendall said amicably, "She probably went tell her dad where she was going." He said, starting to walk away.

Logan hesitated for a moment, but ultimately decided to follow his friend to the pool.

* * *

"Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way..." Katie said, pacing around the eating table within Apartment 2J. Mrs. Knight had left for the store, leaving only the youngest Knight and her hostage within the home.

"Well, I ain't telling ya nuthin'!" Camille said, putting on her best rednecked accent. "I ain't tellin' yous what I've seen 'dere, ya won't even believe me no way!"

Katie slammed her hands on the table, looking the older girl in the eye. "Just tell me what those boys are doing!"

Camille crossed her arms. "Ya ain't seen the things I've seen in 'de city! All ya' fancy gov-ur-ment types be tellin' me yous know best, but yous don't! None of y'all know the trouble I've been in to keep this here farm afloat!" She finished, crossing her arms and looking diligent. Katie felt like banging her head into the wall.

"Camille, what are you even talking about?" She said, sliding into the chair in front of the other girl. "I just need to know what my dumb brother and his dumb friends are doing."

"Ohh, I thought we were acting out a scene from my newest movie, _Rock Camp 8: Southern Escape_." She answered.

"I've...never heard of that movie before."

"Yeah, it got pulled from the theaters. Apparently it was 'too offensive', or something."

Katie decided to switch the topic before the older girl gave her a headache. "Look, just tell me what the boys are doing."

"Oh, that?" Camille shrugged, "They're playing The Evil Game."

"The...what?"

"Yeah, they thought of it this morning. They take turns being evil, and whoever's the most evil before dinnertime wins."

"That's really stupid." Katie commented.

Camille agreed, "Yeah, it is, but I'm playing! Sooo..." She said, standing up from the table, "Can I go now?"

"Yeah, sure..." Katie said, deep in thought. She needed to think of what to do next.

* * *

The pool was a pristine place. The water was clear, the chairs were comfy, and there was a perfect amount of shade for those who just wanted to sit there and take in the view. The pool usually was a happy place for teens, but not today.

"I'm boreeeed." James said, throwing his copy of _Men's Fashion_ magazine behind him. It had hit someone in the head, but he didn't care. "Why is it so _boring_?"

"You're the one who told us to come here!" Logan said from the chair next to him, not once looking away from his _Twilight_ novel.

"But it's so boring, Logan!" James complained. "Logan?" He said again when the boy didn't answer. "Logaaaan!" He wailed, "Pay attention to meee!"

"Quiet James, I'm at the baseball scene."

Kendall spoke up from the chair on the other side of Logan's. "Why are you reading Twilight?"

The raven-haired boy sighed, "I _did _say I liked cheap romance horror thriller novels. Besides, you already knew I read Twilight. We have the entire series on a bookshelf in our bedroom."

"I know that," Kendall said, "But why would you read a book that had baseball in it? You know hockey is better." The blond raised his _Hockey Fun_ magazine up, "It's the number one sport in Canada, you know."

"Yeah, well, we're not in Canada." Logan said, keeping his eyes on the book.

Kendall gasped, "_Blasphemy_!"

James then complained, "Someone pay attention to me!"

"Guys, shut up! James is trying to eat Bella!"

"What!? No, I'm not!" James exclaimed. "I don't even know a Bella."

Logan shushed him, "No, not you. The James in my book."

"Ohh, I'm in that book?" James said, sliding over to Logan's chair. He tried to sneak a peek at the writing. "Am I pretty in this? Did the writer get my good side?"

Logan scooted away from him. "You're not actually in this book. It's a different person with your name."

"What I don't get is why those vampires won't play hockey instead." Kendall said, "It's indoors, y'know, away from the sun?"

"Wait, I'm a vampire!? This is JUST like that dream I had last Halloween..." James begun to explain, "Kendall was a werewolf, Carlos was a Frankenstein, and Logan was a zombie. There was this hot chick, but she-"

"James, be quiet! We've heard about your dream a thousand times!" Logan said, trying but failing to read his book.

"Ohh, tell me the part about me hiding my werewolf-ness from Jo. That's my favorite part!" Kendall said, and James happily complied.

"Well, FrankenCarlos invited Jo to the Halloween bash, but it was a full moon, so you-"

Logan immediately got up and stormed off, leaving two bewildered teens in his wake.

"...What's gotten into him?" James wondered.

"I don't know. Finish the story!" Kendall replied, eager to have it retold again.

"Okay, so you didn't want to tell Jo that you were a disgusting and hairy beast, so you went to your mom for help..."

* * *

Logan sat on a bench within the Palm Woods park, content with his book. Not many people were around, so it was pretty quiet.

Too quiet.

Where was Carlos and his 'evil plan'?

What time was it-12, noon? It's been over an hour, why hasn't anything-

"LOGAN!" Came a high-pitched yell. Two arms came out of nowhere, throwing him into a hug. He immediately knew who it was.

"Camille!" Logan said, straightening himself out after she released him. "Where have you been? You disappeared on us!"

"Oh, Katie kidnapped me." She said, "For a middle schooler, that kid is _strong_. She dragged me into your apartment!"

"For an hour!?"

"No...she just wanted to know about the game you were playing. Then I went home, told my dad where I was going, made this for lunch," She showed him a picnic basket. "...and went to the pool. James was telling that awesome story about that dream he had once, but then I remembered I wasn't in it, so I left."

Logan backtracked, "Waaaait. You told Katie about what we were doing?"

The girl nodded, "Yeah, I did. Why?"

"It's just..._Katie_," He said, "I mean, there's only so much we can do to be 'evil', but Katie can and will out-evil all of us."

"You mean like that evil dude from the dream you guys all had while in England?"

"That wasn't a dream!"

"Riiight. James hooked up with a teenage spy and you guys saved the world from an anti-gravity device." Camille said sarcastically. "That sounds like something from a bad movie, and I should know, I've starred in tons of bad movies!"

"No, that would've been an awesome movie!" Logan insisted, "And it _did _happen!"

Camille rolled her eyes. "Whatever, let's eat lunch! I made toast."

"But..." Logan said, wanting to argue the validity of what had happened in London further. He decided not to, though. He was hungry. "You're lucky I love toast, or this conversation wouldn't be over!" He said, taking one of the pieces of toast Camille had stacked in the basket and biting into it.

"Cooking for you is way too easy." Camille laughed.

* * *

"Uh, yeah, this could be a problem." Kendall said. The Palm Woods snack stand that was located near the pool was completely empty. It usually stocked drinks like smoothies or lemonade, plus fast food around lunchtime. The usually well-stocked stand was unusually barren, though.

"Well, now what are we going to eat for lunch?" James asked. The crowd at the pool had mostly dispersed as hungry teens left the foodless area and went back home for things to eat.

"I think mom's at the store, so she's not here to cook us anything." Kendall said, "And we're not allowed to use the stove or microwave without supervision because of that one time when we almost burned down the entire Palm Woods."

"Oh, come on, that was just one tiny grease fire. That happened to almost kill us all. Can't you drive us somewhere?"

"I don't have a driver's license." Kendall replied, "And don't tell me that I drove a floating van when we were in England, because that never happened."

"Yes, it did!" James said, "And I kissed a girl, and it was glorious! Fantastic, even!"

"I'm not listening!" Kendall said, walking towards the lobby.

James chased after him. "But it's true! We became super-spies and everything!"

Their conversation was cut short once they walked into the lobby. The smell of food wafted in the air, causing the boy's stomachs to growl. The middle of the lobby held an impressive buffet line, however it seemed to only serve on specific type of food.

"Corn dogs?" James stated, watching a group of people walk by with a plate of the before-mentioned treat.

"This...must be Carlos's evil plan." Kendall replied, eyeing the buffet table and the long line of Palm Woods residents waiting patiently for their free meal. With the lunch stand mysteriously empty, those corn dogs would be the only lunch available for those too lazy to cook their own meals.

"But how are free corn dogs evil?" James asked.

"Oh, they're not." A voice slyly said from behind, causing the two boys to jump. They turned around and saw Carlos, who was dressed in a waiter's outfit.

James raised an eyebrow. "Where'd you get that suit?"

"Where'd you get a buffet table!?" Kendall interjected, referring to the large and undoubtedly expensive food line in the middle of the room.

Carlos shrugged, "Does that really matter?"

"It might!" Kendall exclaimed.

"Look, we could talk about where and how I found a waiter's costume, buffet table, and hundreds of corn dogs in only an hour, OR!" Carlos said, pulling out a platter of corn dogs out of nowhere, "You could eat this delicious, _free_ lunch!"

James grimaced, "I prefer light lunches."

"Then have _one_ corn dog!"

"Light, healthy lunches." James said, "Like salads."

Kendall spoke, "And besides, even though serving free lunch doesn't seem very evil at all, I'm onto you, and I refuse to eat your offered plate of delicious foods."

The blond took the silver platter out of Carlos's hands, "I'm throwing these awa-"

"-Hey, Kendall! Hi, Carlos and James! Good morning!" Jo said, walking up to the group. She looked at the large buffet table in the center of the lobby, Carlos's waiter outfit, and the silver platter of corn dogs Kendall was holding. She spoke, "...It's way too early for me to question what you guys are doing right now."

James checked his watch, "It's almost one o'clock!"

"You've been asleep this whole time?" Kendall asked.

"Hey, not all of us get up at dawn every morning like you guys do." The girl said, eyeing the plate of corn dogs Kendall was still holding. "And you made me breakfast! Thanks!" She said, picking one up and biting into it before anyone could object. Kendall quickly shoved the platter of corn dogs into James's hands, eliciting a confused look from the boy. He then reached out and grabbed his girlfriend's hands, stopping her from taking another bite.

"Don't eat that!" Kendall exclaimed, "Carlos did something to it!"

Carlos stepped in-between the two, causing Kendall's grip on Jo's hands to loosen. "Hey, you have no proof that I did anything other than provide the entire Palm Woods with a delicious and wonderful lunch." He said, sighing. "People these days just don't appreciate their waiters anymore..."

Jo wrangled her hands free, stepping back. She took another bite.

"No! What are you doing!?" Kendall said, swerving around Carlos to get to his girlfriend, "I said not to eat that! It's evil!"

"How are corn dogs evil? James is eating one." The girl pointed out. Kendall turned his head to find James scarfing down the food as well. The brunette defended himself from his friend's incredulous look. "I got hungry." He said, picking up another corn dog. "And these things are delicious."

Jo looked at her half-eaten corn dog, "Delicious? These taste a little off..."

Almost on cue, both James and Jo dropped their food, eyes widening in horror. All around them, people were suddenly stopping in their tracks, clutching their stomachs as if in pain.

Before Kendall could react to this odd behavior, everyone in the room made a mad dash to the restrooms. A massive hoard of Palm Woods residents ran out of the lobby, pushing each other away and squeezing in-between others in order to make it to the nearest restroom in time.

Soon, only Kendall and Carlos were left in the lobby. "...you put laxatives in the food." Kendall said. "That's smart. Buddha Bob's going to be unclogging toilets for a week, but it's smart."

"Yeah, you guys really don't give me enough brainpower credit!" Carlos exclaimed, "Looks like I win this round!"

Kendall looked at the boy. "...Uh, I don't think you won."

"What?" The boy answered, "I totally did-wait." He said, suddenly noticing the fact that he had somehow acquired a corn dog and had already taken multiple bites into it. "Oh, why do I have to eat every corn dog I see!?" Carlos yelled, throwing the food onto the floor and running towards the crowded restrooms.

The shouts and screams of the other residents trying to have first pick of the restrooms filled the air. Kendall looked around, noting the dozens of corn dogs laying on the floor, and the massive buffet table that currently devoid of food. Mr. Bitters is going to be so mad once he returns from his lunch break...

From the front entryway walked in Logan and Camille, with the girl holding a picnic basket. They walked towards Kendall, the only other person in the barren lobby, and took a note of their surroundings.

"Carlos poisoned the corn dogs, didn't he?" Camille asked.

"Yup." Kendall replied.

Logan noticed the suspicious lack of Carlos in the lobby. "He ate a corn dog as well, didn't he?" He asked. Kendall nodded.

There was another short pause before Logan spoke up again. "...And we're going to have to clean the lobby up before Bitters returns from his lunch break, aren't we?"

Kendall sighed, "Yup."

* * *

**woah ****HEY this took awhile!**

**I'm disappointed in the final scene, but I could only take toilet humor so far before it got disgusting.**

**The only people you can choose from this time to be evil are _Logan, Kendall, _and_ Camille_! So get voting in those reviews! And thanks for leaving them as well :)**

**Logan only lost to Carlos by one vote last round.**

**And I actually know nothing about Twilight.**

**Get voting! Seeya next time!**

_**Edit: Voting is closed! The winner is Logan!**_


	4. Poolside Punishment

Three hours and a bunch of toilet unclogging later, the entire group managed to meet up in the Palm Woods Park. They filled Jo in on what they were doing, and even though the girl thought the game was extremely stupid and dangerous, she decided she wanted in on it anyways.

Carlos had chosen his evil successor already: Logan. Logan was excited; he immediately rushed off so he could prepare his plan, telling the rest of the gang to go to the pool in an hour and witness "The greatest evil you've ever seen!"

Even though Carlos was still banned from the pool, it didn't take him too long to sneak in due to the fact that Bitters was on one of his infamous five hour lunch breaks.

The group of teenagers looked around the open pool area and saw…nothing. Nothing out of the ordinary, that is.

"So…what exactly are we supposed to be looking for, here?" James asked. Everything looked to be about normal.

"It might be a trap." Kendall said, "Maybe…maybe the chairs are rigged so you get stuck on them when you sit down!"

"…How is being stuck to chairs evil?" Jo asked, "That sounds more like a 'prank' than an 'evil plan' to me."

"Well, you can't underestimate Logan's smartness." Kendall replied. He felt Jo didn't quite understand what he was getting at, so he explained, "Look…Logan is definitely a genius, right? Like...once built a fully functioning robot _just_ so he could replace Camille."

"WHAT?" Camille interjected, "When did he do that!?"

"When you went on that double date with Jett. Anyways, what I'm saying is that the pool area might look untouched and normal to us, but Logan's IQ is over 140! Who knows what booby-traps he could've laid in an hour!" Kendall said. "Just picture this…"

**It was a bright and sunny day at the Oak Forest apartments. It was on perfect days like these where singer/songwriter/musician Kevin Kite would spend all day relaxing by the Oak Forest poolside. The pool was a social hub; actors, singers, and models all joined together at the pool to blow off some steam and have fun with their friends. Kevin was looking forward to that.**

**When he got to the pool though, he saw the strangest thing. The normally populated area was empty! There wasn't a kid in sight. Kevin was confused as to where they could be, but he decided not to dwell too much on it-he came here to relax, not socialize, anyways.**

**Kevin walked over to the nearest chair and sat on it. That was when he realized something was wrong. His chair started shaking uncontrollably; the arm rests grew over his own arms and locked them into place. He tried kicking with his feet, but the metal chair legs had already twisted over his own, preventing his escape. Overhead, he heard a distinct cackle. Kevin could recognize that laughter anywhere. It came from the Oak Forest apartment's resident genius—**

**_-DOCTOR HUGGLES! Doctor Huggles loved giving people hugs. Big hugs, small hugs, side hugs, you name it, he gives it! He's been sad lately though 'cuz people haven't been giving him that many hugs! People are like, "Eww, Doctor Huggles stop, you have cooties." And that just isn't true because only girls get cooties so—_**

"Carlos! You interrupted my story!" Kendall said, "I was just getting to the good part!"

"I still don't understand this whole 'Logan booby-trapped the chairs!' idea you have." Jo said.

Kendall replied, "Well, you would've understood my reasoning if Carlos didn't interrupt me like that!" He looked at his friend, "Doctor Huggles? Seriously?"

"Hey, Logan loves giving hugs! I think." Carlos said. He looked at Camille, "Does Logan like giving hugs?"

Camille, who had somehow acquired a seat from the movie theater, sat on it while munching on some popcorn. "I'm not sure. But keep telling your story, I wanna hear the rest!"

James pulled up another movie theater chair, and sat in it. Before anyone could question either of them to where they got those seats from, James pulled out a pair of 3-D glasses. "Camille, don't forget to wear this!"

"Thanks!"

The two teens put on their glasses, and immediately gasped, _ohh-ing_ and _aww-ing _at the amazing 3-D effects. Kendall and Jo were both dumbstruck to what was going on, which gave Carlos the perfect chance to continue telling his story.

**_Kevin Kite was like, "Doctor Huggles! This is like, so totally uncool!" But Doctor Huggles was like, "No, you're so totally uncool!" and so Kevin said "? But I was voted 'Gnarliest Teenager Ever'! I must be cool!"_**

**_But then Doctor Huggles said, "No way José! You're not cool!" And that made Kevin confused, so he said "Ummmm Doctor Huggles, my name isn't José?"_**

**_Doctor Huggles gasped, "Wait…if you're not José, then where is he?"_**

**_Then, a storm of lightning happened. Out of the clouds flew 10, maybe even 15 bats! They all came together and turned into José! The roughest-toughest cowboy of the wild west!_**

**_"Yippee Kay Yay" José said-_**

"What kind of story is _that_?" Kendall interrupted, "You made Kevin sound like a cross between a valley girl and a surfer dude!"

"Yeah, well, José's a cowboy." Carlos said, then jumped right back into his tale.

**_"José! Like, totally tubular entrance dude. Rock on." Kevin said, "But you gotta help me out bro, Doctor Huggles is totally wigging out again. He trapped me to this chair, dude. Totes unreal."_**

**_José then was like, "Well, ain't that some sticky situation ya got yerselves in right thar." He put on his ten-gallon hat, and looked at Doctor Huggles. "Now let me tell ya straight right here partner, I came from the south and back down there we don't tie our friends up when bored. Naww, we just lay around in the hot sun all day while the missus churns the butter—_**

"Hey, I'm from the south, and we don't do any of that stuff!" Jo said, lightly elbowing Kendall to get his attention. "Tell Carlos that I've never churned butter before."

"Out of all the things wrong in that story, you pick 'Churning Butter' as the thing to get mad about?" Kendall said, "Carlos turned Kevin into a surfer dude!"

"And a valley girl!" Carlos said, "Don't forget that."

Kendall shook his head, "I was just trying to tell a story on why we shouldn't underestimate Logan's smartness. It's getting late, we should just go look for whatever 'evil plan' Logan made so I can get my turn at being the villain."

"Or," James started to say, standing up from his movie chair, "You guys can all sit back and listen to the glorious story of Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver!"

"I'd rather not—" Kendall began to protest, but was cut off when James started telling his story:

_Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver, having heard everything, stepped out from the shadows. The sunlight shimmered sensationally on his sun-kissed muscles, putting a sparkle in his perfect hazel chocolate eyes. His windswept hair was styled perfectly, as always, for Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver was the perfect human being._

_"Friends!" Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver bellowed out in his rich voice, "Let us not fight! Remember the good times we have had together! Remember how we met, how I was always and shall always be the handsomest of us all? Why don't we stop our arguments, join hands, and sing great song praises off of our latest album?"_

_Everyone immediately agreed. After all, Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver isn't only the handsomest man alive, he's also the wisest, smartest, kindest, loyalist, most amazingest human being in the universe. To be friends with Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver was such a dream come true for the others. Together, they sung smash hits off of their newest album. They sang fan favorites such as "Shine Bright Like A Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver", "Music Sounds Better With Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver", and the all-time favorite piece, "Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver Knows He's Beautiful."_

**_-THEN SUDDENLY, A SPACESHIP ATTACKED! EVERYONE DIED, EVEN THE CHILDREN! ESPECIALLY THE CHILDREN! THE HORROR! THE HORROR—_**

"Carlos, what are you doing!?" James asked, "I was getting to the good part! Then you killed everyone!"

"I got bored." Carlos replied, "Can we just find Logan and ask him what his 'evil plan' was supposed to be so we can move on?"

"That's what I've been trying to say this whole time!" Kendall said, "Let's find Logan."

James refused the idea, "But I wasn't done with my story."

"It wasn't supposed to be your story, or Carlos's story…it was supposed to be _my _story. But you two ruined it." Kendall looked around the seemingly normal pool area. There wasn't anything evil in sight. "Where would Logan be?" He wondered aloud.

Camille answered, pointing from her chair. "He's in the third cabana from the left."

The teenagers all looked at her in confusion. She shrugged, taking out her phone. "Yeah, I installed a tracking app on his phone. It's fun; you'd never guess where he goes Tuesday nights…"

On that note, the gang all walked over to said cabana. Lo and behold, Logan really was housed inside, just like what Camille said.

He looked at them, smiling. "Hey guys! Didja like my evil plan?"

James answered, "Uh, no, because we didn't see any 'evilness' around the pool."

Logan furrowed his eyebrows, "Really? But…" He got up and walked outside. He looked around for a few moments, then turned back towards his friends. "…It looks like my plan is still in motion. You guys haven't figured it out yet?"

"Nope." Carlos pouted, "Just tell us what you did already!"

"Well…okay." Logan said. He walked back into the cabana for a few moments before reappearing with a bunch of towels. "Here, take one." He said.

The five other teens each took one, but weren't sure what to make of it. "It's…just a towel." James finally said. It was an ordinary poolside towel, given for free to the Palm Woods residents.

Logan explained his motives, "That's not actually a plain old towel!" He said excitedly, "This towel's fabric has a high grams-per-square-meter count, making it more suitable as a bath towel rather than a pool towel. And these towels haven't touched fabric softener at all, making them scratchy and annoying when used to dry oneself off-hey! Where are you guys going?"

The others had dropped the towels Logan had given them, and begun to walk off. Logan hastily began to pick up after them. "It's against the rules to leave towels on the floor!" Logan called after them, but was ignored.

Logan threw the dropped towels back into the cabana and ran to catch up to his friends. "Leaving your towels on the floor like that is a major pool hazard." He said, "That wasn't very nice."

"Well, you weren't being very _evil_." James replied. They walked into the lobby, parking themselves on some empty couches. "Jackson Anthony Michelangelo Elmer Silver would've been so disappointed in this outcome."

"Who's that?"

"Don't worry about it." Camille said, "Just tell us who's going next!"

"But…you guys didn't foil my evil plan…"

Kendall smirked, "Yeah that was _SOME_ evil plan…" He said sarcastically. "I told them to not underestimate your genius…"

Logan didn't catch the sarcasm. "Thank you! I worked really hard on it and I'm glad someone appreciated it."

"Just…tell us who the next villain is." Kendall said.

Jo chimed in, "Remember that I'm playing this round!"

"Me too!" Camille said.

Logan sat back, thinking about who should go next.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the pool, a teenaged boy was sobbing, holding a towel in his hands. "This is…way too fluffy." He cried, "Perfect for bath time, but horrible for pool time. Its grams-per-square-meter count is too high. And worst of all, it's scratchy! _SCRATCHY!_" He violently threw the towel behind him, not wanting to look at it and its scratchy fabric anymore.

The towel landed on the floor, right in front of a girl carrying a platter of three smoothies. She stepped on the scratchy fabric and slid, falling into the pool. The smoothies flew into the air, each one hitting a different Palm Woods resident.

The first smoothie-covered resident screamed, knocking various people into the pool and onto the floor as she looked for a towel. When she found one, she was relieved until she realized something—the towel was s_cratchy_.

The second smoothie'd resident lost his footing and fell into the pool, thus gunking up the waters and eventually causing the pool to be closed for the next three days for cleaning.

The third resident that got hit fell backwards, knocking into a boy carrying a platter of lemonades.

The cycle continued as more and more Palm Woods residents knocked into each other, spilled their drinks, and fell victim to the scratchy bath towels. The residents all wondered about who could've been evil enough to do something as awful as this to them.

* * *

**Xx**

**Short but sweet.**

**You guys can vote on who should be evil next-_Kendall_, _Camille_, or _Jo_  
**

**If you've been paying attention to the time that has passed in this fic, it's a little after 5 o'clock in the BTR universe right now. Dinner is coming up soon for them-vote for your favorite remaining player before it's too late!**

**Family is visiting next week for graduation, so I won't be able to make another chapter until after school ends. Thanks for reading!**

_**EDIT: VOTING CLOSED! The next evil villain is Kendall!**_


	5. A Purrr-fect Plan

"Three in a row! I win again." Carlos said, grinning.

"Ugh, that's 100 games in a row," James pouted. "I hate Tic-Tac-Toe."

"Best out of 201?" Carlos asked, crumbling up the used sheet of paper and pulling out a new one out of thin air. "I'll let you go first."

"Fine, but I get to be the X this time."

Logan looked at the two boys from his side of the couch, slightly disgusted as he watched Carlos throw yet another piece of paper onto the floor. "Can't you guys use a trashcan instead of littering?"

The other two ignored him, instead remaining intent on finishing their children's game. A few seconds later, James groaned as he lost yet again.

"Aww, leave them alone, Logan." Camille said from the seat next to him, clasping her hands in delight. "Look at them! They're best friends. I wish I had a best friend."

"Hey, I'm here!" Jo said. She was sitting on a separate couch and was next to Kendall, who looked to be deep in thought. "I may have been gone for months, but we're supposed to be best friends."

"Oh, yeah." Camille said, somewhat dismissively. "How was New Hampshire?"

"New_ Zealand_! And I've already told you."

"You did?"

"Yes, I did!" Jo said, "When I was gone, I sent you emails that you never answered, facechats that you never answered-"

Logan knew an argument forming when he saw one, and cut in quickly in order to change the subject. "We should really get back to that game we were playing. You know, the evil villain thing? Ah, Kendall? You ready yet?"

"I'm thinking!" Kendall replied, looking at Jo, who was sitting next to him. "What if I got rid of all the pink and blue smoothies in the Palm Woods? That's evil, right?"

"Not really." Jo replied, making Kendall groan as he stared off into space once again, trying to think of another thing he could do with his turn.

Jo looked at Logan, "Why couldn't you choose me instead of him? We've been waiting in this lobby for two hours, and he hasn't thought of anything yet! Um, no offense." She said, offering a smile to Kendall when she realized he was glaring at her.

"Trying to think of an evil plan is hard!" Kendall said, defending himself. "Hey, I won 'Least Likely To Turn Into An Evil Super Villain' three years in a row back in Minnesota."

"We went to a weird school." Logan commented, "I won 'Least Likely To Swag' once in the 8th grade. And that was from before 'Swag' became a thing."

Camille spoke, "Seriously though, it's almost 7 o'clock. The game's going to be over soon, and _I_ haven't been picked to go yet!" She looked over at Logan. "_Why_ didn't you pick me, anyways? I've known you for three years! Kendall's just some guy you've known for pretty much your entire childhood."

"Okay...your argument didn't really make much sense." Logan said, "And I chose Kendall because I assumed he wouldn't be able to think of an evil plan before dinner. And I'm right!"

Kendall grimaced, offended by that statement. "Hey, I'll have you know that my evil plan will be fantastic!"

"Oh yeah? Then what is it?" Carlos asked. On his head was a paper crown that said 'Tic-Tac-Toe Champion'. James sat near him, looking cross due to the fact that he couldn't even beat Carlos once.

Kendall replied, "Well...I don't know yet. Wait, Jo! Get off the couch."

"What!?" The girl squealed as Kendall pushed her off her spot and onto the floor. He then laid down on the couch, head facing the ceiling.

"This is my thinking pose!" Kendall said, folding his arms across his chest while he continued to face upward.

Jo stood up from the floor, dumbfounded by what just happened. "Seriously?" She deadpanned, looking at Kendall with a raised eyebrow. "You could've just asked me to get up."

"Shhh." Kendall commanded in reply. "When I'm in my thinking pose, you can't bother me."

"But-"

"Can't bother me!"

"Give it up Jo, when Kendall's in his 'thinking pose', he won't listen or speak to anyone." James said, "He once spent three days lying on a couch like that!" He chuckled for a moment, then abruptly stopped laughing and spoke gravelly, "We thought he was dead."

"Boop!" Carlos suddenly exclaimed, placing a paper crown on James's head that read 'Tic-Tac-Toe LOSER'.

James took the crown off, read the text, and crumpled it up. "I'm not wearing this."

"It's okay." Carlos said, nodding in understanding. "Because you can wear this one instead! Double boop!"

Carlos placed another paper crown on James's head. It had the same text as the one before, but this one was pink.

"Carlos!" James said, taking the crown off his head and tearing it up. "I'm _not_ wearing that!"

James crumpled the crown into a pink mass of paper and threw it away. It sailed past the couch Kendall was on, and landed behind it. A second later, a mewing was heard.

"What was that?" Logan asked, looking at the couch. If Kendall heard the mewing sound, he didn't show it, instead remaining quiet on the couch.

The mewing sound occurred once more. Jo, who was left without a place to sit after Kendall dumped her on the floor, walked to the back of the couch. She looked behind it, and sure enough, she found both the crumpled up crown and the source of the mewing. Everyone(aside from Kendall, who was paying her no attention) watched the girl in earnest as she bent over and picked up...a cat?

"A cat?" Logan asked, "What's a cat doing in the Palm Woods?"

"Look at the one I have!" Camille exclaimed, holding a black cat in her hands. "It's adorable."

Jo put her cat on the floor, looked over at Kendall, and said "...Who put three cats on him?"

Sure enough, there really was three cats on Kendall, sitting silently on his chest. Kendall paid them no attention as he laid still in his thinking pose.

"I don't know, but it's freaking me out!" James said. All around him and Carlos were a hoard of multicolored cats who seemingly appeared out of nowhere. James jumped out of his seat as one rubbed up against him. "This is _weird_; I'm leaving."

Carlos stood up as well. "Yeah, there must be like 30 cats in the lobby righ-boop!" He suddenly placed another paper crown on James's head. This time, it was purple and sparkly with the words 'Crazy Cat Man' on it.

James quickly took the crown off, "Carlos! How are you making these so fast!?" He said, crumpling the paper up and throwing it behind him. It hit a cat, and a nasty hissing sound was heard.

"Never mind that, I think we should get out of here." Jo said, stepping over the influx of mewing kittens that had somehow infiltrated the lobby. "There are a lot of cats in here, and we're the only ones in the lobby. If Mr. Bitters comes back and sees this, we'll get blamed."

Logan stood up, and raised his voice a little to be heard above the meowing noise. "Yeah, we should leave. But what about Kendall?" He said, motioning to the perfectly-still boy on the couch. He had about ten cats on top of him, but he didn't seem to pay them any attention.

"Oh, just leave him." James said, "These cats are _shedding _on my clothes! We need to leave _now_."

"But if Mr. Bitters finds Kendall here, alone, surrounded by cats, he'll be blamed for it!" Jo argued, "I'm not leaving him."

"But you can't move Kendall once he's in his thinking pose." Carlos said back, "Just like how James can't stop me from doing THIS!"

He then whipped out another paper crown, but James knocked it out of Carlos's hands before he had the chance to do anything with it.

"Come on, let's go!" The brunette exclaimed as he began to step over the cats, making his way to the lobby exit.

Carlos followed him, and so did Logan...that was, after he managed to convince Camille to drop the pile of cats she had gathered around her. She insisted on taking one cat with her, though. The black one from before, saying that its name was Falcon and that she was keeping it. Jo stayed behind; she was unwilling to leave Kendall alone where he could get into trouble by Mr. Bitters if the Palm Woods manager were to return to his desk anytime soon.

When the teens finally made it outside, they were astonished to see the entire parking lot filled with cats.

"What's going on!?" James cried, moving around so none of the cats would touch him and his clothing.

"Could this be Kendall's evil plan?" Camille asked, still holding the black cat she took in her arms.

Logan shook his head, "No, Kendall's still in his thinking pose. He probably hasn't even noticed the cats." He said, then added, "Tell me again why you're keeping that cat?"

"Yeah, and why did you name it Falcon?" Carlos said curiously.

Camille shrugged. "He's cute. And doesn't he look like a 'Falcon' to you?" She said, looking at the docile small cat in her hands.

"No, it looks like a cat." Carlos deadpanned.

James agreed, "Naming an animal after another animal is weird-_AH! DON'T TOUCH ME!_" He screamed as a cat rubbed up against him. "Okay, we really need to leave!"

"But where should we go? The entire Palm Woods is probably infested with cats, and we have no car." Logan replied.

Carlos pointed off into the distance, "Hey, how about that guy who's waving at us? We could ask him for a ride somewhere!"

The other teens looked in the direction Carlos was referring to. A few hundred feet away, there was a huge black van with a picture of a moon painted on the side. Outside of the van was a tall, bald man. He held a white cat in one arm while he used his other one to wave at them with. Even though he wore a bright smile on his face, there was something about him that seemed unfriendly.

"Umm, yeah, I don't think we should get into a stranger's van, Carlos." Camille said, hugging her cat. "Besides, I don't think Falcon likes that man very much, now do you Falcon?" She asked, and the cat meowed in response.

"He seems nice." Carlos stated, but Logan disagreed with him.

"Guys, don't you remember him? That's Atticus Moon from England!"

"Oh, yeah." James said, backing away from a cat who was getting dangerously close to him. "But didn't we send him flying off into space or something with The Beetle?"

"But that never happened!" Carlos said, "Atticus Moon is just the name of the airplane company we used to get to England! I don't even like The Beatles."

"It _did_ happen! And look, he has a gun!" Logan exclaimed, looking at the strange man in shock. Sure enough, this Atticus Moon lookalike now had a gun in his hands. The very same gun his henchmen had back in England. And it was pointed straight at them.

"_RUN!_" James screamed, hightailing across the parking lot in a frenzy. The others followed, jumping over the absurd amount of cats along the way.

"Where are we going!?" Camille yelled from the back of the line. She was being slowed down due to Falcon being in her arms, but refused to drop him.

"Rocque Records!" James replied back, "It's just down this road!"

* * *

The teens ran nonstop down the block, crashing into a few angry L.A residents along the way. When they finally made it to Rocque Records, they were exhausted. They ran straight to their floor before finally stopping, and collapsed in the lobby of their recording studio.

Gustavo and Kelly had the day off, and therefore the rest of the staff weren't there either, leaving the entire floor empty and to themselves.

Everyone took a spot on the couch, taking a moment to catch their breath. Camille released her cat on the floor, where he promptly jumped onto the glass table in front of her.

"What should we do now? Atticus Moon is back...with fifty times as many cats as he had before. He's after us." Logan said, in a terrified voice.

"But...the whole 'Atticus Moon tries to take over the world' thing wasn't real!" Carlos argued, "We were never spies, or on 'Britain's Most Wanted' list, or anything!"

Camille agreed, "Yeah, and if you guys really did save the world from an anti-gravity device, it would've made the papers. There has to be another explanation for what we just saw."

"The explanation, you two, is that Atticus Moon _is_ real, _is _alive, and _is _trying to kill us!" James exclaimed, "We need to do something about this."

During their argument, Falcon went by unnoticed as he walked across the table. He stepped on a remote, which caused the television to turn on. It was on a news channel, and the woman on it seemed to be in the midst of a report.

"-No one knows why the mysterious black van was in front of the building, or why the dozens of cats were there as well, but both seemed to have vanished without a trace. The police didn't arrive until after the fact, and noted that nothing appeared stolen or vandalized, so no further investigation will be conducted. The Palm Woods manager said that he thought that it was just an elaborate prank pulled by one of the residents. He doesn't know who did it, however, since the lobby was completely empty when he returned to his desk. But he did say that once he caught whoever did this prank, he would-"

James took the remote off the table and paused it. He was shocked. "The lobby was empty?" He repeated, "Kendall and Jo were in the lobby!"

"Maybe they got up and left when Bitters came?" Camille said, but James disagreed with that notion.

"Kendall wouldn't have left his 'thinking pose' until he thought of something evil to do for the game. And Kendall was also voted 'Least Likely To Think Of An Evil Plan' five times back in our old school."

"Yeah, and wasn't he voted 'Most Likely To Be Kidnapped During A Game' as well?" Logan commented, "And that's probably what happened!"

"Okay, so let's just call the police!" Camille said, "I mean, I still don't believe your story about how you all became super-spies while in England, but a kidnapping's a kidnapping! They'll find Kendall and Jo for sure."

"Yeah, like they're going to believe us!" Carlos retorted. "I don't even believe us! And I believe in _everything._" He said seriously. Then he grinned, said "Boop!" and placed another paper crown on James's head. This one was bright red and said 'Penny Lane Doesn't Exist'.

James took the crown off, read it, then threw it onto the ground. "First of all," James said, "Penny Lane exists, and I kissed her, and it was wonderful. And second of all...Carlos is right. The police won't believe us if we call them and go "Oh, hey, that man you saw earlier with fifty cats? We think he and his legion of kitties kidnapped our friends."...they'll think we're crazy."

"Well, maybe Jo did somehow move Kendall off that couch after we left." Logan said, "Uh...we could try calling them to find out, but since Kendall's probably still in his 'thinking pose', he won't answer his phone. And I don't have Jo's phone number."

"Me either." James said.

"Oh, I do!" Carlos exclaimed, reaching into his pocket. "I have the phone number of every resident in the Palm Woods, and-" His pockets were empty. His enthusiasm faded. "...I left my phone in my _El Hombre_ suit."

All eyes fell on Camille, who grinned sheepishly in return. "I...uh, don't have her phone number..."

"What? Aren't you guys supposed to be 'best friends', or something?" James retorted, surprised.

Camille hung her head in shame, "I may just be a horrible friend."

"Great." James said sarcastically, taking his phone out of his pocket. "Let's just try calling Kendall anyways."

He quickly dialed the number, and waited as it rang. As expected, no one answered.

"Kendall always answers his phone." Logan said, "He must still be in his 'thinking pose'. And Jo couldn't possibly have moved him out of the lobby all by herself."

"Well, what should we do, then?" Camille asked, using a hand to pet Falcon on the head. The cat purred happily, not noticing the grim situation that was occurring around him.

A moment of silence transpired among the group of teens as they tried thinking of an answer to that question. Finally, Carlos spoke.

"You know...we could become superheroes and save them."

* * *

**Xx**

**No voting in this chapter!**

**If you remember in a previous chapter that I posted over a month ago, Kendall also doesn't believe that Big Time Movie occurred either. So it isn't just Carlos(and Camille) who don't believe in Big Time Movie.**

**(And Camille naming that cat 'Falcon' was poking fun of how James named his dog 'Fox'!)**

**By the way...what happened to Katie?**


	6. An Extravagantly Evil Ending

"Superheroes? How will we do that?" Camille asked. All eyes immediately fell on James, and his eyes widened surprise. "What are you looking at me for? Logan's the smart one!"

"But whenever Kendall's not around, you think of the plans." Carlos said.

"Me? Make plans? No way. I'm not a planner, I'm a freeloader. Make Logan the leader!"

"What? No!" Logan responded, "I don't want to be the leader."

"But every superhero squad needs a leader, and the leader always makes the plans." Carlos argued, "And it can't be me, because I'm the spunky sidekick!"

"Hey, I'm spunky! Can I be a spunky sidekick too?" Camille asked.

Carlos shook his head, "No, you're the girl."

"The girl?" Camille repeated dryly.

"Yeah, every squad needs one girl!" Carlos said, earning himself a glare from Camille.

"Maybe James can be the girl." She said, causing the boy in question to be offended.

James defended himself, "Just because I'm more beautiful than you, it doesn't mean I'm girly at all!" He said, "Besides, we don't need any superhero titles, we just have to find Kendall and Jo and get them back. They're probably still at the Palm Woods."

"How do you figure that?" Logan asked.

"Because the guy we saw wasn't Atticus Moon. Even though he looked like him, it couldn't have been him. We sent him off flying into space!"

"Or..." Camille said, "Atticus doesn't actually exist! Because he doesn't exist."

James ignored her, "If the British police caught him while he was flying around, they would've put him in jail. And if he escaped and somehow traveled to America, it would've made the news, and he probably would've been caught at the airport. He can't be Atticus."

"That does make sense." Logan said, "If Atticus did escape, we would've been notified since we're the only Americans with any connections to him."

"Of course that wasn't Atticus Moon, he doesn't exist." Camille said.

"He does exist, Camille."

"No he doesn't, Logan."

Logan reached over, grabbing the black cat that was standing on the table. "I'm revoking your animal privileges until further notice."

"Hey! Give Falcon back!" Camille exclaimed, quickly standing up and lunging towards the outstretched arm that held her cat. Logan twisted away from her, causing him to lie down on the couch and nearly fall off in the process. At this point, the cat apparently had enough. It bit Logan's hand, and the boy hissed in pain, letting the cat go.

Falcon fell to the floor, and immediately scampered off. "No, come back!" She called, but the cat continued to hightail it down the hall. Camille turned around and ran after it, but not until after she pushed Logan, knocking him off of the couch. "I'll get you back for this!" She promised as she ran off as well.

Logan continued to lay on the ground, groaning. "See, this is why I can't be the leader."

"Yeah, I can't be a leader either." Carlos said, "Especially since James is wearing the leadership crown!" He plopped another paper hat on James's head. His friend immediately took it off. "Seriously?" James said, throwing the crown onto the floor.

"You're the one who realized that the guy who attacked us wasn't Atticus. Maybe Jo and Kendall really are still in the Palm Woods." Logan said, still laying on the floor. "By the way, I think I broke my everything when I fell."

"Well, even if Kendall and Jo are still at the Palm Woods with someone who wasn't Atticus, we still need to leave right away and go find them."

Carlos grinned, "Spoken like a true leader! Let's go!" He jumped up, and James rolled his eyes, but didn't argue. They helped Logan stand up, who complained of back pains but was promptly ignored as they begun the somewhat long trek back to the Palm Woods.

* * *

"Hold on, didn't we forget Camille back at Rocque Records?" Logan said as they arrived back to the apartment complex.

Carlos shrugged, "I forget about Camille all the time. It's okay."

Logan would've said something else if it weren't for the fact that James abruptly stopped walking, causing the shorter boy to crash into him. "Hey, oww! Why'd you stop?" Logan said, walking around James.

The boy had a serious look on his face. "Do you guys..." He took a long pause, looking around. "...hear that?"

"Oh, hear what?" Carlos asked, "Is it Kendall? Is he screaming in agony?"

"I don't hear anything." Logan commented. He looked around, but he didn't see anything either.

"No..." James said, "I hear...the sound of _awesomness_."

"What?" Logan and Carlos asked in unison. James turned around, and began to sprint across the parking lot without any warning. The other two boys hurried after, wondering what on earth had gotten into their friend.

It wasn't until they finally caught up a minute later did they realize what James was talking about. He was tightly hugging a smaller figure.

"Oh, Lucy! I knew you'd come back to me!"

Lucy, who was trying her hardest to escape his grip, complained. "Didn't...come back...for you! Ugh..." She said, struggling. "Can't...breathe..."

Logan and Carlos immediately rushed to Lucy's aid, pulling her away from James's death grip. James attempted to hug her again, but she took a few steps back and raised her arms in defense. "I know karate!" She warily told James.

"You do?" Carlos asked.

Lucy dropped her arms back to her sides, "No, my parents made me take ballet instead." She then changed the subject. "Anyways, aren't you guys missing a bandmember?"

"Yes, but I've been missing you more!" James replied, jumping over to Lucy side and putting an arm around her.

Logan gave her a more straightforward answer. "Kendall and Jo got kidnapped and we're looking for them."

"Kidnapped? Seriously?"

"Yeah, but enough about us and our problems..." James chuckled, pulling Lucy in closer. "Tell us about you. What are you doing back?"

The girl gave James a nasty look, swatting his arm away. "Wait a second, you guys are being serious about this whole 'kidnapping' thing?" She got nods from Logan and Carlos.

She pulled out her phone, "Well they're not 'kidnapped', they're in Apartment 2J. Look." She said, showing them a Scuttlebutter picture that was posted on Camille's account. It featured Kendall laying on the orange couch, still in his thinking pose, while Jo and Camille stood in front of him, making duckfaces at the camera.

"I don't really like Jo, but that's mainly just due to the fact that Kendall choose her over me." Lucy said, swiping her finger across the phone to switch the page. "So naturally, I follow her Scuttlebutter account. She's been posting repeated pictures of her and Kendall for the past hour."

She held her phone back up, this time on Jo's Scuttlebutter account. Indeed, there were many status updates that were merely pictures of her smiling at the camera with Kendall looking like he was dead in the background.

The boys were astonished. "So, they weren't kidnapped?" Logan said in disbelief, "And Camille's in on it too?"

"But what about the cats and that crazy bald guy who was trying to kill us?" Carlos exclaimed, looking at Lucy in shock. "There were _so many cats_!" He said, gasping. "Just _so many_!"

Lucy shrugged, "No clue." She said, "Go ask them. Oh, but, don't tell Kendall or Jo that I'm back yet."

"You're moving back?" James said, grinning widely.

"Yeah, but not right now." Lucy replied, "In a month or so, after my album releases. I just picked out my future apartment, and I have a feeling Kendall won't like me much by then, which will do me well."

Logan raised an eyebrow, "And why exactly wouldn't he like you?"

Lucy chuckled, "That's a good question. But," She said, "You guys shouldn't worry about me and my plans. Instead, you should go and 'save' your friends from Apartment 2J." She started to walk away, back towards her car. "Oh, and check out my first album. It's coming out soon, and I have a feeling that it's going to be _scandalous_."

After a moments' pause, Logan wondered aloud. "Should we be worried?"

"No." James said, "She's great. So perfect. And SHE WILL BE MINE!" He exclaimed, fist-bumping the air. James leaned over to Carlos and whispered, "Quick, make me a crown that says 'Lucy and James Forever' on it."

"What? I don't know how to make crowns." Carlos said back.

James continued his awkward pose when he said, "Yes you do. You've made me like 40 crowns in the past hour."

Carlos crossed his arms and smiled, "James, that's crazy. No one can possibly make that many crowns in an hour. It's almost as crazy as believing Atticus Moon exists."

"He _does_ exist!" James and Logan yelled, making other boy jump in surprise. James dropped his pose and said, "Fine. Let's just go get Kendall."

* * *

The walk back to their apartment was largely uneventful. When they stepped inside, they were greeted by the same scene they saw from Scuttlebutter: Jo and Camille taking selfies of themselves while Kendall laid unmoving on the couch.

Jo saw them first. "Hey, what took you guys so long?" She said, sitting on the floor in front of Kendall. The other three boys walked over to her. "We were beginning to think that you guys got lost or something."

Camille jumped up, running over to Logan. "Look! I found Falcon. Isn't that great?" She said, pulling a dark cat up out of nowhere and shoving it into his face. When Falcon recognized Logan, it immediately started hissing.

Logan jumped away from the two. "If you say so." He replied, taking a few more cautionary steps back from the furball. "How'd you get here so fast?"

"I took the taxi." Camille said, causing the other three boys to groan. "We should've thought of that!" James cursed.

She continued, "Yeah, after I caught Falcon, I realized you all _left me_. So I called a taxi to take me back. And while I was in the car, I checked my phone and saw updates from Jo's Scuttlebutter account. That made me realize that this whole 'kidnapping' thing was fake, so I came up here and we waited for you three!"

"So this entire kidnapping thing was Jo's idea?" James asked.

Jo shook her head, "No. It was hers." She said, pointing to a different corner of the room. When the boys turned around, they were greeted by the same bald man from before, carrying the same huge gun as before. The boys all screamed, jumping behind the kitchen counter in an effort to not be seen.

"No, not him!" Camille said, walking over to the three cowering boys. "Her!" She pointed to another corner of the room. The boys warily stood up and looked over to where she was pointing.

The three of them gasped, "_Katie!?"_

The girl smirked, walking over. When the bald man begun to follow as well, Carlos shouted, "Katie, watch out! He has a gun!" He then hid behind James, much to his friend's displeasure.

Katie spoke, "Oh, the gun's fake." She proved her point by taking it out of the bald man's hands and aiming it at the boys. When she fired, a stream of water hit James.

"My shirt!" James cried, picking up a nearby rag from the counter and hurriedly dabbing himself dry with it.

Carlos peeped out from behind James, "Who's the bald guy?" He asked, still somewhat fearful.

"He's Otto Von Schnitzelpusskrangescheitmeyer." Katie said, the words flowing smoothly from her mouth. "He's an actor I found on the internet."

The man smiled, "Oh, indeed I am, mate! I also be a cat enthusiast as well. Rattle an' hum 'ere, kitty!" He said in some sort of thick accent, arms out to Falcon. The cat squirmed, making Camille lose her grip. It fell to the floor and ran back to Otto, who picked it up with glee. "Ah, yes. This ol' chap be one ov me favorite. So calm an' collected, yet ain't afraid ta pack a punch."

"No..." Camille said weakly, "Falcon, come back..."

Logan put an arm around his sad girlfriend, offering her a tentative smile. Carlos then asked Katie a question, "But why did you do all of this?"

Katie looked at James when answering, "Remember what you said to mom and I this morning, when you were dressed in your bandanna costume? About how we didn't have any sense of fashion?"

James thought for a moment, "Oh, that? That wasn't me. That was Anti-Fashion Man."

"Wait, you hired an Atticus Moon lookalike, equipped him with a realistic looking water gun and a bunch of cats, and staged his kidnapping...just because James insulted your fashion choices?" Logan said, "That's a little overboard."

Katie shrugged, "I had a free day, and this money I took from James's wallet." She pulled out black wallet, and took out a wadful of cash. She gave half of it to Otto. "Keep the change."

"Ah, vank you, kind lass! Fill free ter call me anytime fer either actin' awer cat-related business!" Otto said kindly, depositing the money into his pocket.

"W-wait!" James stammered, "That's my money!"

Otto begun to leave, but was stopped by Camille, who asked, "Hold on, is your cat for sale?"

The man looked at her in surprise, then looked back at the cat. "Well, dis lil' critter is me favorite, but...for a pret'y young girl like you, I'll give 'im ter yew for..." He paused, thinking. "...50 dollahs?"

Camille grinned, then looked at Katie, who merely shrugged and gave the rest of James's money to Otto. James gasped, falling to the ground in dramatic agony. Otto gave the black cat back to Camille, then left the apartment.

"Oh, Falcon! I'll never let you out of my sight again!" She cooed, stepping beside Logan. The cat stared at the boy and started hissing, stretching its paw out in an attempt to claw him. Logan quickly moved out of harms way.

"Yeah, I'm done with this game. And with cats." He said.

Kendall suddenly shot up from his spot on the couch, "I GOT IT!" He exclaimed, causing the other teenagers to jump in shock. Kendall was smiling, but when he realized where he was, he grew confused. "How did I get here?"

"Otto moved you." Jo replied, "...It's a long story. Don't worry about it."

"But-"

Jo raised a hand, "Nope, don't worry about it."

At that moment, Mrs. Knight walked through the door, carrying boxes of pizza. "Dinner time, kids!" She said brightly, placing the fresh pizza on the table before walking away, giving the kids time to eat. Everyone immediately grew delighted, running over to the table in hunger. All except for Kendall, who stayed sitting on the couch.

"But...guys! I figured out my evil plan!" He called, "And it was really evil. I mean it!"

"Too late bro; it's dinner time!" Carlos said through bitefuls of the greasy pizza.

"Yes, and I also took all of your money." James said, holding a familiar blue wallet in the air.

Kendall felt his pockets, realizing that they were empty. "Give that back!" Kendall said, running over to his bandmate.

"Ohh, sorry, but there's no money in here." James opened the wallet up, showing that there indeed was no money inside. "I spent the money on this crown!" He threw the wallet back into Kendall's face, and grabbed a plastic crown from somewhere and placed it on his head. It was personalized with the text 'James and Lucy Forever!'

Logan didn't bother wondering about how on earth James was able to do all of that in the time it took for him to walk from the couches to the dinner table, and instead asked, "So, who's the winner of this game?"

It didn't take long for everyone to respond, saying "Katie." in a resounding chorus before turning their attention back to their food.

Kendall slid in a chair, still unconvinced. "But...but Katie? She wasn't even playing. And...James's crown? What? And why does Camille have a cat?"

"Don't worry about it, big bro." Katie said, sliding a plate of pizza over to Kendall. "Just remember that, in a game of evil, I will always win."

"That's...sort of worrying." Kendall said, picking up a slice. "I really don't think we should play this game again."

Everyone agreed.

**The End**

* * *

**Xx**

**I started this fic shortly before Season Four started, and it ended shortly before Season Four will end. Thanks for reading!**


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